Lisa's Funny English Lessons

1.
Me: Do you guys understand what the word “sniff” means?
Student: Yes. Cocaina.

2.
Student: Lisa, how do you say Reyes Magos in English?
Me: Three Kings, or Three Wise Men.
Student: Three White Men?!?! But no! One Reyes is Black!!

3.
Older Student: HELLO! BITCH MOTHER!!
My student: LISA! Did you hear what he say?
Me: No, what did he say?
Student: He say, Bitch Mother!
Me: What? That doesn’t make sense.
Student: He say Puta Madre.
Me: Ohhh, ok. Do you know how to say puta madre in English?
Student: Umm… Mudderfaawker?
Me: More or less.

4.
Me: Do you understand what ‘barter’ means?
Student: Yes
Me: Give me an example.
Student: You give me good grade, I give you a ham. No no, better; a chorizo.

Commentary:

1. For your information, to sniff cocaine in Spanish is “esnifar cocaina”.
2. At first, I thought the kid was saying that black men couldn’t be wise, but was glad to realize that he meant that one of the Three Kings was black, and so it was incorrect to call them the Three White Men.
3. I couldn’t see who yelled “BITCH MOTHER”, which obviously is not to be tolerated. But I later found out from a friend of mine, that to say some one is “de puta madre” is actually a compliment. It’s more or less like saying that the person is the shit. I’m not sure if that’s what the kid meant, though. But I was also informed that you rarely use “puta madre” to describe a person. It’s “hijo de puta” as in son of a bitch. Iiiiiiiii don’t know. Slang is so hard.
4. And of course, I end with a jamon quote.